Monday, December 22, 2014

Where's My Gun?



- What happened today? Anything?
- No. A quiet day. No stories. Or maybe...
- What?
- You how I like to joke with people? Today I met another joker. Or at least I hope he was joking. I was waiting in line at the Westwood Trader Joes. The guy ahead of me, dressed down for shopping, middle aged, answering the cashier's questions in an accent I guessed was Indian, had with him many cloth bags decorated with a big 'U'. I asked him:
- Do you know what that 'U' stands for?
- UCLA. The University of California, Los Angeles.
- In the opinion of some. Actually it refers to the students there and stands for 'uneducable'.
- That's for the best since I've come to teach in the business school, and you know what we teach them in business school don't you?
- No, tell me.
- To lie and cheat.
- Unfortunately the only things you can educate UCLA students to do better is lie and cheat.
- Well. I've quit my last job at the Wharton School, and know what I do now?
- No. What do you do now?
- Run a hedge fund.
- Lie and cheat on a massive scale. Where's my gun? I must have left it at home.
- The cashiers have knives on their belts.
- The famous box cutters. No thanks. I'd like to help you out with your death wish but the world is full of liars and cheats. Stamp one out and another pops up.

- And?
- He took his bags and waved good-by.